would not publish this. The idea was to write to me, because I can not explain with words that happens to anyone I know, even good. Write I feel really helps me is like therapy, but publish it explains my blogging absence. Would close the blog and without warning, I do not like when a blog that I like, close to the corresponding post, if not return, I have no ideas, I have no time, etc ... But that blogging should be a kind of drug that can not unhook.
There was a time in which I was happy for no reason. When they ask you if you're happy what is socially acceptable is that you say a little, or as repeated, but if I have my stuff. If you say you're not, fall into the hole to be bitter and do not appreciate the little things in life that make her truly happy. You have to be happy, but not all, the rest may think it also has things but is happier than you. The situation becomes tense when you say you are completely happy. You've just not worth getting married or be parents. Can not be happy at all, because I remember how fast they grow continuously without discount and how much you have to take the principle of marriage before the attack routine. But what happens when you are happy for no reason. I think you wake up these lower instincts of jealousy and envy, how Fulanito may be worse than me and be happier.
At that time I said I was happy but not happy saltimbanque down the slopes, I had an inner peace and happiness that had not ever experienced. He had work, no money and had no partner, and I promise I was happy. But I felt very uncomfortable and told the others, I felt depraved " how you can be happy with how bad the world is going," or what is happening to Somebody's niece or myself. " the track was playing back then, I said "how good you're taking with your situation, but once you start looking for work do not lose that attitude . It was like listening to the dub inside my head, "hey you have to burden you, you have no job, can not be happy, can not be happy, look at me I work a thousand hours, and my husband, and you do nothing and I would like me to be like you "but it is impossible few people are able to be happy to see another happy, have more or less than you, is socially unthinkable. I have never talked to anyone about this subject, I may be the only one who thinks, say you're completely happy is not socially acceptable, are an unsupportive.
That did not mean to be happy, to look my belly and nothing else, I am often scolded by looking car news, "Is not this the world look like?, Should suffer a little for everyone." I do thousands of hours each day when I'm not 100% happy, self-reproach that even I being happy, is something quite sad. Then came
the idiot my life and some more events, and all that, now on fire could swear that nothing would change from that moment, nothing would have made me more happy, could not. Not even that I won the lottery. I think this will last quite overwhelm me at first. I think I've ever mentioned my inability to handle excess positive situations. I am highly trained in negative coping, I work best. Before you know it a bad thing to do, accept, seek solutions, face your fear, pain, oppression or negative feelings and provoke you find the moral of the situation. But with something positive and overflowing what are you doing, sit down and enjoy no more ... not to rest but I do not go away.
Being happy has a lot of attitude. Happiness is an attitude, greatly influenced by the circumstances of the individual, but has a lot of attitude. I is very self-help book, but then I remove the glamor. Let's say I am a plump bowl, I can have thousands of ingredients, but if I have salsa is not funny. If I have a few salsa ingredients but I am also great.
Now is where I should say that it is not that happy right now, but it's not like before. Lie. Happy after feeling that I am unable to ensure that I am. I have half soured sauce.
Whoever says that now I have to idiots and two jobs, drub. As romantics out under rocks and fundamentalists of all that love can also add that the idiots love him very much, but it is one of the root causes of my unhappiness. It's more I'm convinced that it is not happy or I'll tell you of happy things ... but I have hearts that think I'm a sacrilegious, I will say that when 70% of your time do not want to be where you are, is that you are not happy. And that is not "I do not, I want to be in Tahiti the rest of my life." "You've got 30%" but that 30% will say I'm sleeping and then I place myself in a dream where I please, if not overly dinner to have nightmares.
"But love is beautiful, everything that makes you feel"; many years, wrote in a journal that I keep and I'm afraid Reel: That love has a high amount of suffering and who is not willing to suffer better not to embark. Some people suffer for not being matched by the loss of love itself, or the distance, my case. I was never seemed willing to suffer a very high price in return. But those eyes and those hugs were cast at once, and there was no remedy, sighing as Rapuntzel at the top of the tower did not seem so hard. Until I awoke from the anesthesia crying because I missed him. These levels are very treacherous primary consciousness. (In case anyone doubted it, survived the operation, but do not write that I'm with speculations how are you, you can not be at all).
could try to concentrate on my work while it lasts this time (no matter if it lasts a hundred years, and whoever supports it). But I have the feeling of being turned into a dark being ambitious and obsessed with work all hours of the day possible. And as you increase minimally your account becomes more and more stingy to see what it took to win. If I were carving out a mini fortune, or win a Sueldazo, or slightly more than the consideration times or subsequent investments, it would have merit. But for sheer survival is high and to make ends meet, all very pathetic.
So in short I'm in an impasse in my life when reviewing and rethinking things, how I came to this situation, if it rained on me or where I messed up, if I do something or plan to wait a little sacrifice What should I do, do what is right, what is appropriate or desired. And find out if I'm on track or if I'm gambado well. Find out where my path leads also help me a lot, but it is still abuse.
A solution that would cover everything, would be idiots to kidnap and bring to a fertile and fruitful tropical country, to live with manual labor job and without capital creators of dissatisfied people, but if not I would strongly agree, if the same is left for fishing.
After re-reading this do not know if I removed the gene of laughter in the operation, because before inspired me and I came more funny, but if it takes me to write that one worry is that these sandwiches I find myself mentally.
