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a healthy divorce

TIPS FOR PARENTS

"The vast majority of children of divorced or separated parents do not have a happy childhood. Moreover, the longing when they reach young people have missed the opportunity to enjoy their early years continues decades later, "says Vallejo Reyes Orellana Professor of Psychology at the University of Seville and author of a study on this subject published in the Journal of the English Association of Neuropsychiatry.

Parents can do much more than they imagine for their offspring to help them through the toughest moments of marital breakdown. First, understanding some of the possible reactions of children, which vary depending on age.

"The more sensitive the preschool and school, especially if one appreciates that still lack the necessary cognitive resources to understand the new situation. You will often see initial reactions of sadness, fear, insecurity, confusion, depression and even violent reactions to a parent, "says a elmundo.es Reyes Vallejo.

is also fairly common" to blame themselves separated from their parents or, in other cases, irrationally fantasize reconciliation between the two, "he adds.

To reduce the impact of divorce is" advisable to talk about the reasons that led to this decision in simple and understandable language, informing them of the changes that will take place in their lives and make them see that separation is of the couple and, therefore, the love they have for their children are not going to be affected or modified, "advises psychologist Sevilla.

The English Association of Primary Care Pediatrics 'prescribed' to other measures parents can help children deal and cope with marital breakdown.

• must ensure, whenever possible, no change of address or school. Children must maintain relationships with friends and the routine practice of their activities. It is important to have facility to telephone when they need both parents.
• siblings should stay together as long as possible. Both parents must be confirming his descendants as they want before the separation and show that the rupture is not due to relationship problems with them. They must devote much time as possible and provide love without falling into the development of bad habits (too much pampering.)
• All children should have the same access time to both parents. These periods will be heard by the whole family in advance and, if possible, you should go to them on time.
• symbols of affection are very important, rather than gifts. Try to have a positive image of both parents. Do not admit to speak ill of any of the two, and if they do respond noting positive aspects. Think you may someday have another partner, but his son will never have other parents, so it does not discredit his 'ex', or vent their frustrations with their rods.
• We must encourage children to express their feelings, their sufferings, their difficulties and fears. To reduce the extension and the hardness of the transition to new family life, parents should convey to children that the separation is final and irreversible situation.

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